ADAM MILOSZ WILL NOT BE BLACKMAILED!

I started this blog for the same reason most people start their own blogs—as a way to keep in touch with my, how do you say, “friends and loved ones.”

My life is so busy, I rarely have time to talk to anyone.

If my mother calls from Warsaw to ask what we’re up to, how the kids are doing, I say to her, “Dear sweet woman, read my damn blog. What do you think it’s there for?”

But then something I write, how do you say, “strikes a chord” with a brother or second uncle; someone forwards one of my posts; etc., etc., you know the story—and pretty soon it’s this “going viral” thing everyone talks about (ja, ja, ja).

Next day I have ten billion readers, how do you say, “hits.”

And I think, where did the extra three billion come from? Are they even human? Because I thought the Earth only had like around seven billion. 

And the thing is, they’re not all human. Some of them are actually monsters in disguise—hideous, slimy creatures PRETENDING TO BE HUMAN, and all they want is to tear you down.

Dragging my, how do you say, “skeletons from the closet” for the whole damn world to see.

What I’m trying to say is, yes, if you read it somewhere else on the World Wide Internet, it is all true. I was young, beautiful, very flexible, and I needed the work.  What I’m trying to say is, I did some modeling for Playgirl.

All right? I admit it.

So now, all you, how do you say, “bloodsucking leeches,” have fun with your rumors. BECAUSE THEY ARE NO LONGER RUMORS AND NOBODY CARES.

Thank you in advance to all of my true fans who are standing by me during this, how do you say, “witch hunt.” A big thanks, too, to Speedo and Nordstrom for not pulling my ads. They, like me, WILL NOT BE INTIMIDATED by loser underwear models jealous of my blogging success.

Thank you again to everyone supporting me, and to my wife and children, to my grandmother in Krakow, to Andrzej and Antoniusz in Bochnia.  

Here is a photo from my most recent Speedo project:

I’m the swimmer in the far right lane. Gasping for air, okay, I admit it. Get your own asses in the pool if you think you can do better (JA JA JA; don’t worry, I love you guys)!

This was a very challenging shoot for me (but extremely rewarding, financially as well as psychologically), because Speedo had never asked me to model while doing the breaststroke before. But I said, how do you say, let’s do this thing, and we did.